It’s time.
I’m going to college.
During the lengthy and rather tedious affair of filling out numerous college applications I began to contemplate the usual questions one asks when designing the optimal college experience (if you haven’t been through this process yet, it’s like ordering a college Happy Meal at McUniversity): Do I want a small, medium or large school? What kind of mascot should come with it? Would I look good in a red and yellow sweatshirt?
Bottom line is there are a lot of questions that need answering.
But amidst the merriness of independence and designing your future comes the hard stuff, which, for NMO patients is never fun to face.
Unlike your typical soon-to-be freshman college student, I, along with countless other NMO patients, have to consider questions such as: Where will I be able to get my treatment and where would I go if I have an attack?
One of the most important questions, however, that I often consider is what will my roommate think? Most students have to worry about the usual things, such as, what if my roommate snores, or is sloppy, or just smells weird? I don’t even want to imagine what my roommate will be thinking when I show up my first day with some IV medication and a full supply of steroids.
Of course along with those burdensome inquiries come the doubts, the fears and the frustrations. I often think I don’t want to be the weirdo, the ‘sick’ girl or whatever else people might call someone with a rare orphan disease (or a disease of any kind, for that matter). But then I remember that those people don’t know me. They don’t know my situation. No one has the right nor the justification to say my face is red, or I’m breaking out, or I’m running too slow because I can’t catch my breath, when it’s really just a reaction to my daily dose of steroids. But then again, that should be the least of my fears when going to college.
After all, college is about freedom, independence and a newfound sense of self-identity and reliance. I, and all NMO patients alike, should not be fearful, or scared, or anxious, or hindered in any way by our medical condition.
Of course, that’s easier said than done, but there is a way.
There is a way to feel confident. There is a way to feel comfortable in a new environment and not even have to think about NMO or whatever is making us feel insecure.
The way we all deal with these bad things in our life that make us feel hurt, frustrated and alone is different. Some of us take long showers, while others take up yoga and meditation in an attempt to return to normalcy. Granted, there are a lot of variables in the disease equation, but one thing is for sure: whether it be NMO, cancer or just the flu, there is hope. Remember, there will be a cure one day. That day may seem not to come soon enough, but it will come.
As I go off to college, explore new things, meet new people and just enjoy being a kid, I know nothing can stop me – not even the fear of blindness or potential paralysis, because the cure will come.
– Ali Guthy